Every farewell in the workplace carries a whisper of change. A valued colleague walks out the door and leaves behind more than just an empty desk—they leave behind a story. And when businesses take the time to listen, those stories can guide powerful, people-first decisions. Exit interviews, done well, are not just administrative formalities—they’re strategic touchpoints, rich with insight, nuance, and untapped opportunity.

Why exit interviews require HR’s thoughtful approach?

Understanding why someone chooses to leave your organisation can help you retain your top talent, strengthen your culture, and even shape your future hiring.

If you treat exit interviews like paperwork, you’ll get paper-thin answers. The magic lies in reframing them as human conversations rather than corporate checklists, creating a safe and open environment for departing employees to share their honest feedback and assuring them that their input will be used constructively.

Start with appreciation. Thank the individual for their time with the company. Acknowledge their contributions and wish them well—not just out of politeness but to preserve a relationship that may pay dividends in the future. After all, how you part ways can influence whether you might work together again.

This isn’t about sugar-coating or smoothing over cracks—it’s about showing respect. When people feel they’re being genuinely heard, they tend to open up.

Timing is a delicate balance

Exit interviews are best scheduled when emotions have settled but before the whirlwind of handovers and goodbyes. One to two weeks before an employee’s final day tends to hit the sweet spot—close enough to keep the experience fresh, but not so close that the logistics overshadow the purpose.

And here’s a key move: appoint a neutral party, such as an HR representative or trusted third-party facilitator. Employees are far more likely to speak freely when their comments won’t be filtered through the lens of a direct manager.

The most valuable exit interviews go beyond “Why are you leaving?” and into the terrain of “What was it like to work here?” Open-ended, thoughtful questions can reveal the heartbeat of your employee experience. For instance:

• What first attracted you to this company?
• When did you start considering a move?
• How well were your skills and strengths put to use?
• Were your career goals supported?
• How would you describe the team culture to someone new?
• Would you consider coming back in the future? What would need to change?

Importantly, don’t just listen to the answers—listen to the pauses, the tone, the hesitations. Often, the real story is nestled between the lines.

Drop the defensiveness, dial up the curiosity

Some feedback may be tough to hear. That’s a good thing. It means you’re getting honesty, not diplomacy. The goal here isn’t to change someone’s mind—it’s to understand it.

As Brandi Britton, District President at OfficeTeam, puts it: “The only silver lining to losing employees is obtaining useful feedback to help stem further turnover.”

Instead of rebutting or justifying, respond with curiosity. A simple “That’s interesting—can you share more about that?” can lead to insights you never expected.

Exit interviews are only as useful as the action they drive

Insight without action is just noise. Collecting exit data should be the beginning, not the end, of a broader retention strategy.

Share themes and patterns with leadership—anonymised, of course—especially when multiple departures point to the same issue. Is there a leadership blind spot? A culture misalignment? A pay discrepancy? These aren’t just HR concerns; they’re strategic risks.

Gallup recommends creating a dedicated action team responsible for reviewing exit data alongside other performance indicators. This enables you to spot trends, test changes, and measure results over time. The power lies in the patterns—not the isolated remarks.

Leave the door open

The concept of the “boomerang employee” is more than a buzzword—it’s a business reality. People leave, gain new experiences, and sometimes come back with more to offer than ever before.

However, that only happens if their exit is handled with professionalism and goodwill. A warm farewell message, a final coffee with a senior leader, a “we hope to see you again” gesture—these small acts reinforce your employer brand and keep the relationship intact.

As Rebecca Zucker, an executive coach, suggests: “If we’ve done a good job of staying connected... we’re more likely to be successful in supporting you in the ways that you need.”

Think beyond retention: your employer brand is on show

Exit interviews don’t just influence the person leaving. They influence everyone they talk to—friends, peers, and online networks. According to Gallup, 71% of job seekers rely on referrals from current or former employees when considering opportunities. That means each exit is a mini-broadcast of your employer brand.

Handled poorly, departures can spread discontent. Handled well, they create brand ambassadors who may refer talent, become customers, or even return themselves.

The cost of turnover is more than just recruitment expenses. Studies estimate it can reach 1.5 to 2 times the departed employee’s annual salary. But the hidden costs—lost institutional knowledge, lowered morale, diminished team cohesion—are harder to quantify and more damaging over time.

By capturing thoughtful feedback, companies can not only diagnose current issues but also future-proof their talent strategy. Asking, “Was your tenure shorter, longer, or about what you expected?” can, when aggregated, uncover disconnects between promises and reality. That’s data worth mining.

Choose the right format for your business

There’s no one-size-fits-all for exit interviews. In-person and phone interviews yield richer conversations, especially for senior roles. But web-based surveys offer scale and speed—and may encourage greater honesty when anonymity is assured.

Post-exit interviews (after an employee has started their new role) can sometimes yield more candid reflections, while pre-exit sessions capture fresher impressions. The right cadence will depend on your goals, culture, and industry.

The HR Dept’s take: we’re here to help

Creating a robust exit interview programme takes planning. At The HR Dept, we help organisations develop and implement thoughtful exit strategies that turn every departure into a lever for growth. From crafting the right questions to analysing themes over time, we help you translate employee stories into strategic advantage.

Make sure the person leaving feels like they’re truly being listened to and appreciated. That’s not just good manners. That’s good business.

Employee exits aren’t just endings. They’re inflection points—opportunities to reflect, learn, and evolve. A well-run exit interview offers a rearview mirror on the employee experience, a pulse check on culture, and a glimpse into how your company is perceived from the outside looking in.

So, next time someone hands in their notice, take a moment to lean in. Ask the right questions. Listen with intention. And leave the door open.

Because in business, as in life, you never know when you’ll cross paths again—and it’s always better to meet as trusted allies than distant strangers.

10 “do not” for HR in an exit interview

Knowing what not to do in an exit interview is just as important as getting the process right. A poorly handled exit interview can damage your employer brand, burn bridges with a departing employee, and waste a golden opportunity to learn and improve.

Here’s a practical list of what to avoid in exit interviews, especially if you're aiming to create a culture of trust, continuous improvement, and long-term talent advocacy:

1. Don’t get defensive or argumentative

Resist the urge to justify decisions, push back on criticism, or turn the conversation into a debate. The exit interview isn’t the time to correct their version of events—it’s about listening to their perception. If you shut down feedback or challenge it too strongly, you risk turning an open dialogue into a closed door.

Instead: Stay curious. Ask follow-up questions like “Can you tell me more about that?” to show genuine interest.

2. Don’t conduct it with their direct manager

If the interview is led by someone who has a stake in the feedback—or worse, someone the employee is leaving because of—it’s unlikely they’ll be honest. People tend to withhold sensitive details when power dynamics or awkwardness are involved.

Instead: Assign a neutral party, such as someone from HR or an external partner, to ensure a safe and unbiased space for feedback.

3. Don’t make it feel like a formality

If the conversation is rushed, heavily scripted, or treated like another admin checkbox, it sends a message that you’re not listening. Employees will sense when you’re just going through the motions—and they’ll adjust their honesty accordingly.

Instead: Take your time. Frame the interview as a learning opportunity and treat it with care.

4. Don’t promise changes you can’t deliver

It’s tempting to say, “We’ll take this on board” or “That’s going to change,” especially if the feedback is hard to hear. But unless you genuinely intend to act on it—or have the power to—don’t raise false hopes. This can erode trust, especially if word gets around that nothing ever changes after exit interviews.

Instead: Be honest about what’s possible and follow up internally to close the loop.

5. Don’t probe too personally

While exit interviews can surface sensitive topics, this isn’t the time to dig into an employee’s personal life, health, or relationships unless they raise it themselves. Overstepping these boundaries can come across as invasive.

Instead: Focus on professional experiences, cultural observations, and growth opportunities—or any themes they naturally bring up.

6. Don’t use it as a retention pitch

By the time someone’s at an exit interview, their mind is likely made up. Trying to talk them into staying can feel manipulative or tone-deaf, especially if their decision has been well thought out. It can also make them shut down.

Instead: Use a stay interview earlier in the employee lifecycle if retention is the goal. At exit, your job is to listen.

7. Don’t skip the interview altogether

Skipping exit interviews is a missed opportunity to gather rich, firsthand insights. You’re not just losing an employee—you’re losing context, patterns, and potentially even advocates. And doing them inconsistently sends the message that you only care sometimes.

Instead: Make exit interviews a standard, consistent practice—regardless of role, department, or seniority.

8. Don’t forget confidentiality

If word gets out that feedback from an exit interview was traced back to the individual—or shared loosely in meetings—it can destroy trust with your remaining employees. Discretion is key.

Instead: Share insights in aggregate form and anonymise the data when discussing themes across teams.

9. Don’t focus only on negatives

It’s easy to zero in on what went wrong, but this can create a one-sided, emotionally draining conversation. You’ll also miss learning about what’s working well—your cultural bright spots, effective managers, or meaningful experiences that keep people engaged.

Instead: Ask what they’ll miss, what made them proud, and what went well.

10. Don’t file the feedback away and do nothing with it

Collecting exit feedback and doing nothing with it is like assembling a customer survey and ignoring all the complaints. It’s not just unhelpful—it’s potentially damaging. Employees talk, and when they feel their voice doesn’t matter, that message travels.

Instead: Review trends regularly, build action plans, and share changes internally to show you’re listening.